The Many Parts of Me
(Image from Pixabay)
The Many Parts of Me
"It’s what’s inside that counts"
Proverb
We are all aware of those 'internal voices' that we have. Most often we are very aware of our internal critic but there are many other 'parts' of us that make us who we are and that help us govern how we do our leadership and indeed, how we live our lives, from the inside out.
Richard C. Schwartz in his work in Internal Family Systems (IFS), explains that clients often come to psychotherapy to change rather than to accept their unwanted behaviours, emotions, or thoughts. He points out that the lack of self-acceptance is the primary obstacle to change.
Schwartz’s IFS model suggests that the mind is divided into several sub-personalities or parts and that we all have a core self that should be leading our internal system. Even though we hold several parts, none are bad. Acceptance is the key. Schwartz explains that changes in the internal system (what I call your inner game) impact changes in the external system (your outer game) and vice versa.
Our many parts can be experienced in lots of ways. We may find ourselves preoccupied with thoughts of not being good enough or not being worthy, and this is where we often feel sadness, hurt, shame, and even loneliness.
There are times when we want to remain in control and safe. This is where our inner critic lives. It’s our controlling part – the planner, the people pleaser, the perfectionist, the self-saboteur, the procrastinator, the high achiever, and the caretaker.
Sometimes we just want to retreat or hide, which is where addictions come in, through food, substances, or exercise, and often bring feelings of anger, obsession, and pain.
The essential point is to acknowledge that many parts make us a person. I believe each part starts with a positive intention and plays a role, and we want to manage them from our core self to support growth.
If you are up for some light-hearted home play, a movie that explores this concept of our many parts is Disney Pixar’s Inside Out. It’s well worth a watch.
Need some help
If you would like to understand more about how you are currently doing your leadership from the inside out and how that is impacting the results you are getting, we should chat.
Alternatively, you could grab a copy of my book Inside Out: Why Leadership Starts With You.