Gratitude - Blessings and Burdens
Gratitude - Blessings and Burdens
Have you noticed that there seems to be certain times of the year we are often prompted to practice gratitude? There’s often a rush on gratitude around the end of the year and just before a new year starts, and then there are specific holidays like Thanksgiving in countries like the USA and Canada (to name a few) and then there are similarly named holidays in places like Germany and Japan.
Being grateful is often linked to us stopping and reflecting on things that have happened for or to us – things that we would want to give ‘thanks’ for.
Count your blessings
When we practice gratitude, we often think back to something that has happened recently or even in the moment and we start to notice how that made us feel. These are typically happy or positive memories or events, and we count our blessings for having this thing or this person in our world
Grow from your burdens
We can also experience gratitude from the more burdensome events or people that have been in our world. In the moment we may not feel this of course, in fact, in the moment we are often either mad, angry, frustrated or sad and thinking about the event is just too painful.
But when we are able, there is huge value in considering these events or people and instead of reliving the pain and hurt, we can think about what that situation taught us – what did we learn from that situation? This is what we can be grateful for, and this is what will enable us to grow.
So maybe you had a boss or colleague with little to no empathy or emotional intelligence. Maybe they were rude or insensitive. Maybe they cut people down to size in front of others. Let’s imagine for a moment that you were the target of this behaviour and you were left feeling hurt, humiliated and just a bit ‘less than’. Whilst there is no excuse for this type of behaviour, you may feel that the event is something you would rather forget and perhaps it’s just a bit too painful to relive it.
Well, the reality with these situations is they happen. So instead of focusing in on the hurt, we can look at the situation through the lens of learning. What did I learn from that situation? For a lot of people, I’m sure the above experience would provide the opportunity to learn about the type of leader you never want to become. Perhaps the learning was that it helped you identify the types of leadership development you want to include for yourself in the future. There is always something to be learned from all situations. So don’t shy away from what you perceive is a burden – massive growth and opportunity is usually on the other side.
Being present
In order to practice gratitude, we need to be present. We need to create the space to allow ourselves the opportunity to reflect over what has happened recently that we are grateful for. For some of us that might be a simple practice to do. For others, stopping and reflecting may not be how you play your inner game. Maybe you are continuously focused on the next task or goal and so don’t spend much time thinking about what or who helped you be successful. If this is your orientation, try to create a habit where you allow yourself time to stop and reflect. This is useful not only from a gratitude perspective but also for you to spend time thinking about what has worked well during your day and what you might do differently tomorrow based off what you have noticed.
Giving thanks
A study of 2,000 Americans conducted by the John Templeton Foundation found that people are less likely to feel or express, gratitude at work than anyplace else.
Yet, if our goal is to build organisations with high trust and a collaborative culture, creating an environment that supports and creates space for genuine gratitude amongst all leaders and team members is a must.
Research conducted by Adam Grant and Francesca Gino found that thanks and expressions of gratitude increased prosocial behaviour as people feel socially valued.
So why is this so difficult for us to do? Is it that we don’t know how or is it that you are too busy, or some other reason? Whatever the answer to that question, lets make 2022 the year to be grateful and give thanks to others.
Top tips for practicing gratitude
1. Create the time and space in your day – it can be as small as 5 minutes and ask yourself, ‘what/who am I grateful for now?’ Make a list or get yourself a journal to make a note of these things everyday.
2. Get specific about what is was the person did for you that really made life easier or better for you.
3. Connect with that person during the day and tell them what you are thankful for and how they helped you. Remember to be totally present when you have this conversation.
4. Set yourself the goals of:
a. Writing in a gratitude journal every day – could just be three things you are grateful for – total 5 minutes.
b. Thank at least one person every day for something they did that made your life easier or better.
5. Be genuine and consistent with the practice and you can start to shape the culture of your team or your organisation to develop a practice of gratitude.
If you are looking to leverage your leadership in 2022 and need some help, drop me a note and we can chat.